We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.
#now i’m just imagining a story where someone is friends with a zombie/vampire/some other immortal thing #and the monster is super dramatic and likes to fake their death all the time and their human friend is stuck telling their eulogy again and #omg i like this i kind of want to write this
- accept that no pun is actually Good, but that the true nature of a good pun is to be so terrible that it becomes good.
- say every pun that occurs to you. i’m so serious about this, sometimes the most well received puns will be ones you considered not saying.
- ALWAYS laugh at your own puns, even if nobody else is. (especially if nobody else is.)
- know that you are hilarious. puns are a limitless resource and you have taken it as your duty to bring this gift to humanity. you are a hero.
"You think ‘Okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst’, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you."
Stephen King, “Joyland” (via revoult)
u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along
No one will understand how much this just broke my heart.
"omg why are you crying?" "the economy, bro"